A while back I was having a chat with my aunt and she said that there are three things that are important in life; your family, being part of your community and fulfilling your purpose in life through your work. Other than her marriage advice this happens to be one of the deepest conversations we have ever had. Then as I was reading Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, I came across something that sounded familiar and I’d like to share an excerpt from the book.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to create something that gives you purpose and meaning.
In one way or the other those words drive the same point home. I have been at odds for the better part of the year (I know it’s barely two months in but I feel like it’s been longer) with showing up for the people in my life and diving deep into work. 2019 I was hell bent on showing up for people because I was losing friends as they were the ones doing the heavy lifting in our relationships. I showed up for events that I would normally turn down and picked up calls even though I prefer calling. However this year I wanted to spend time doing the things that I loved. In short I wanted to spend more time worrying about my stuff because truth be told pile on your issues and someone else’s issues and it can get a little bit too much.
The problem is that the idea has been unsettling to me. The idea of death is something that lingers in my mind. If you have ever lost someone really close it makes it more real. For me death is not a bad thing but a necessity. It is necessary so that you can move on to the next phase. It’s like primary school, if you want to move on to high school no matter how much you love your friends or that stage it has to end.
What I am saying is that I am one of those people who think about their funeral. Like it or winter is coming the only thing that you don’t know is when, where & how. Truth be told I don’t want to have a lot of accolades but empty pews because I was too busy chasing money and the wrong notion of success.
Looking back to last year I’ve never had more fun than I did. I laughed so hard, I learnt to be vulnerable, I tried out new things, I observed who I was with different people and tried to decipher the real me, I learnt to appreciate the diversity that lies with each and every person. You are drawn to different people because they have something you don’t have or are there to teach you something that you’ve been struggling to learn. In summary I learnt how to LOVE.
In hindsight I would say that as much as I’d want to concentrate on my other goals Bishop T.D Jakes has helped me put things into perspective. Winter is Coming and we will all wither at some point but I would hold dear the bonds that I formed more with people than any other thing. Don’t be caught up in all the pettiness.